Monday, March 15, 2010

Matchmaking 101: Online Dating Advice from Bachelor #1

One of the best things about meeting people from the online dating world is the fact that, while everyone's in the same boat, there are still varying levels of experience to be found in the situation.  On my date with Bachelor #1, I found that, though we had both signed up around the same time last week, this was not his first foray into online dating.  Apparently, he'd tried it years earlier and had some veteran wisdom to pass on to my rookie ways:

1. Assume that every date you meet has at least six other dates lined up after you.  Since I'm only just starting to dip my toe into the online dating pool, Bachelor #1 was my only prospect for this past weekend.  He, on the other hand, had three different dates lined up, two of which had occurred on the same day.  Some people might have found this fact rather insulting, I found it refreshing and smart.  You can't put much stock in anyone until you meet them face to face. Increasing your numbers puts the odds of meeting someone worthy more in your favor.

2. If both parties are willing, meet in person as soon as possible.  Similar to the multi-date rule, this one goes back to the fact that you can never tell how a meeting will go once you're in person.  Bachelor #1 told me a story in which he'd interacted with a girl online for quite some time, getting along famously, but when they finally met after weeks of typing, there simply was no spark.  Don't waste your time building a relationship with someone online unless you know that chemistry has begun to translate into real life as well.

3. Always be honest and up front about your feelings for the person you are meeting.  I could tell within the first few moments of meeting Bachelor #1 that, while I'd love to have him as a friend, I simply wasn't interested in dating him.  The situation was missing that undefinable quality that draws two people together; call it a spark, call it chemistry, whatever, it just wasn't there. Thankfully, we were both on the same page. Even better, we were both up front and honest about the situation.  There's no point in wasting a near-strangers time by trying to be polite. If you're not interested, just say so...your confession may even come as a relief.
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