Apologies for the few days of blogger hiatus; I had a brief two-night opportunity at a social life and had to jump on it [how else could I have these experiences to blog about?].
And speaking of a social life, mine is always at its fullest when I'm back home in Indiana for a weekend. I adore my Chicago buddies, but there's a special dynamic that arises around the Indy crew I've known for years. Plus, the Indy girls and I always know exactly where we want to go on a night out: dancing at
The Red Room.
The age old cliche about a girl's night out totally holds true for me:
I just want to dance. I love the dancing part of the club scene, but I truly hate being hit on in clubs. The whole idea that the alcohol + dancing situation leads to anything resembling intimacy is completely foreign to me. It seems that even the best of men lose all sense of gentlemanly manners on these occasions, but there's always an exception.
Take notes, boys, because the following account is a how-to for
not acting like a creep while out on the town:
1.
Get the introduction right. Regardless of whether or not sex is the only thing on your mind when you approach a girl, it should NOT be indicated by the first words out of your mouth. I once had a drunken Romeo introduce himself by grinding up behind me on the dance floor and shouting "I like small boobs!" into my ear...and just like that, the conversation was over before it even had a chance to start.
Bar Boy used a better approach: Rather than shouting lewd comments in the middle of a loud dance floor, he found a quieter spot to make himself known. A girl friend and I had stepped out onto the balcony of the club for some air, he followed out after us. Whether or not he was following
us is hard to say, but it doesn't really matter; what matters is how he treated the situation he found himself in. We were having a discussion about the saying "Beer before liquor, never sicker" so Bar Boy chimed in with a completely relative and appropriate comment about having seen a Myth Busters about that very topic. And just like that, he was in our conversation...no grinding or boob compliments required.
2.
Be able to laugh at yourself. When you put yourself in a situation as ridiculous as trying to pick up a girl at the club, you better be able to have a sense of humor about it. Frankly, everyone can benefit from the ability to laugh at themselves in any situation.
Case in point: at one point during my interaction with Bar Boy, my friend flitted off to compliment a complete stranger's shoes. Bar Boy noted that it's totally a girl trait to even
look at a person's shoes. I agreed, but pointed out that he needed to be aware that girls were also noticing
his shoes and probably judging him based upon them. When he asked what my opinion was of his unassuming loafers, I smiled and told him that personally, I prefer a boy in Converse. [Boys in Converse are sexy.] And you know what? He laughed. Laughing is so much sexier than getting upset or self-conscious over something trivial that you can't change; laughter made me forgive his unassuming loafers.
3.
You're at a club, so you better dance. In an ideal world, you can dance circles around Justin Timberlake and will have all the girls swooning over your sexy moves. In reality, you probably have that one move that you just keep repeating over and over again. Girls understand that most guys can't dance. In my opinion, that's okay...as long as you're willing to try. As we've covered, girls are usually at the club
for the dancing; so if you refuse, you're missing out on a huge chunk of the interaction you should be having with her. It's best to start dancing with a girl after you've had some sort of contact already. Buy her a drink, pay her a compliment, or [ideally] have a conversation before you pull out your one move on the dance floor. Nothing says creepy to a girl like a surprise grinder molesting her on the dance floor before he's even made eye contact with her.
In Bar Boy's case, he'd already established a good 10-15 minute conversation before moving things to the dance floor. On this particular night, my friends and I closed down the bar so we'd actually been ushered from the bar side to the dance hall out of necessity. Once on the dance floor however, Bar Boy
actually danced. Not only that, but he was able to achieve the perfect balance of sexy, yet appropriate dance behavior: touching without groping and closeness without grinding. [There may have also been a little kissing, but a real lady would never tell.]
End result: Bar Boy got my number.
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